You are a woman, a Feminist who stands for the purity of her own body. You don’t find sex with multiple men liberating or empowering. And that is absofreakinglutely okay.
I am honored and thankful for such kindness and thoughtfulness.
Do people ever think that maybe when others sporadically complain, and protest it’s because they are in need to unload and explore their thoughts and feelings? Do they not realize that for those who spend their professional life listening to others, and staying positive most of the time, it is necessary to have a session or two where they also want to be listened to even if it is about the negative, or an unpleasant part of their life experience?. Are they so selfish that they cannot give others a moment of silence and a listening ear, without judging, without comment, without feeling sorry or wanting to fix anything? Have People forgotten to be empathetic and just give some time to others of active listening without feeling that there has to be a response, an advice, a comment? Have they forgotten that they too at some point have probably felt the same need to have someone just listen, and be understanding? Have they so quickly forgotten that they too need to unload and express how they feel no matter what it is that they feel and think? Do they not know that it is alright, that it is only a moment of unrest, and that it will pass and that the speaker will be safe and regroup, and have the strength to move on without their patronizing, condescending and judgmental manners and responses?
It appears that we have forgotten what it means to listen, to support, to understand, to be empathetic to others in times of need. What happened to these basic human communication skills one needs to have to keep fulfilling relationships?
“Active listening” means, as its name suggests, actively listening. That is fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker. An active listener provides ‘feedback’ to the person speaking so they will feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly. Listeners should remain neutral and non-judgmental, this means trying not to take sides or form opinions. Active listening is also about patience – pauses and short periods of silence should be accepted. Listeners should not be tempted to jump in with questions or comments every time there are a few seconds of silence. Active listening involves giving the other person time to explore their thoughts and feelings. Active listening is not passing judgment, nor making nor giving unrequested opinions or advice. Active listening is a most desired skill for good communication. Let us not forget that communication equals relationship. If we cannot have good interpersonal communication with others and provide good verbal and nonverbal feedback that conveys understanding, support and non-judgment we will fail to have meaningful relationships. Active listening is a life skill that needs to be developed by all who want to be successful in every area of life, from the professional to the personal. Learn it, develop it and practice it at every opportunity you get to interact with others. It is life changing in the most fulfilling and meaningful way.
Photo taken by Madeleine Pujals Maya