Tag Archive: Forgiveness



Sunset By Madeleine Pujals Maya

“Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us… Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, they will hold the keys to our happiness, they will be our jailor.”
Desmond & Mpho Tutu, The Book of Forgiving

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Forgiveness Methods
Five steps for granting the gift of forgiveness (R. Klimes)
A. Acknowledge the anger and hurt caused by the clearly identied specic oenses.
B. Bar revenge and any thought of inicting harm as repayment or punishment to
the oender.
C. Consider the oender’s perspective. Try to understand his/her attitude and behaviour.
D. Decide to accept the hurt without unloading it on the oender. Passing it back and
forth magnies it.
E. Extend compassion and good will to the oender. That releases the oended from
the oense.
Four stages of forgiveness (Enright & Fitzgibbons)
1. Uncovering
Gaining insight into whether, and how, the injustice and subsequent injury have
compromised his or her life. Confronting anger and shame. Becoming aware of
potential emotional exhaustion. Becoming aware of cognitive preoccupation.
Confronting the possibility that the transgression could lead to permanent change
for them. Discovering how the transgression changed their view of the world.
2. Decision
Gaining an accurate understanding of what forgiveness is, and making a decision
to commit to forgiving on the basis of this understanding
3. Work
Gaining a deeper understanding of the oender and beginning to view the oender
in a new light (reframing), resulting in positive change in aect about the oender,
about the self, and about the relationship. Showing empathy and compassion.
Bearing the pain. Giving the moral gift of forgiveness.
4. Deepening
Finding meaning in the suering (post-suering growth). Consideration of times
when we have needed other’s forgiveness. Knowing that we’re not alone. Becoming
aware that forgiveness allows us to feel more connected with others and to experience
decreased negative emotion.


PSYCHOLOGYT LS.org
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or
condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only
way to dissolve that link and get free.”
Catherine Ponder

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive
but do not forget.”
Thomas S. Szasz
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B. Smedes
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.”
Bryant H. McGill

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive
untold peace and happiness.”
Robert Muller

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde

“Sincere forgiveness isn’t coloured with expectations that the other person
apologise or change. Don’t worry whether or not they nally understand you.
Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”
Sara Paddison
“Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past”
Buddy Wakeeld
Photo by Madeleine Pujals Maya

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