Category: Writing



Photo Reflections  in by Madeleine Pujals Maya

Treasure the moments that you share with those you love. These are gifts to be grateful in the PRESENT. Tomorrow is not a promise. Be Mindful of the here and now.


20140320-204337.jpg


AFFECTION IN A MARRIAGE

Affection is one of the most important emotional needs to be fulfilled while in a relationship as significant as in a marriage. Not everyone knows how to give it and not all know how to receive it.
Affection is not always something that we are wise about but must learn it. Affection, in spite of not being able to give and receive it, is something we all need. Affection is learned and unfortunately, not all grow up in families where it is given spontaneously. When in a marriage some spouses have to learned how to demonstrate this important emotional need and it must learn by practicing it.
Below is a list that may be practiced by spouses. At first it may not feel real, but practice makes perfect. The simple exercise of practicing it and repeating it until it becomes more spontaneous is an effort to be respected and appreciated. For those that do not know how to receive, practice receiving with caring silence and enjoy.
1. Hug and kiss your spouse and tell them you love them every morning while you’re still in bed. Rub their back for a few minutes before you get up.
2. Tell them that you love them while you are having breakfast together.
3. Kiss them and tell them you love them before leaving for/to work.
4. Call them during the day to ask how they are doing and that you love them.
5. After work, call them before you leave to tell them when you will be home, and tell them you love them.
6. Buy her flowers on the way home occasionally, with a card that tells her you love her.
7. When you arrive home from work, give them a big hug and kiss and spend a few minutes talking to them about how their day went. Don’t do anything else before you have given them your undivided attention.
8. Tell love them that you love them as you are having dinner together.
9. Help clear off the table and wash and dry the dishes, giving them, a hug and kiss at least once, and tell them, that you love them.
10. Hug and kiss them and tell them you love them in bed before you both go to sleep.

These are only a few of the ways to express your affection. Time and repetition will help make it more spontaneous and real. Enjoy it, appreciate it and benefit from its gifts.

Madeleine Pujals Maya
3/17/2014


                                     Loneliness or Aloneness           by Madeleine Pujals Maya

There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. Loneliness is experienced even in the presence of many.
Aloneness is something we can enjoy and look forward to. Aloneness is a space where one can feel happy in one’s own company.
Loneliness is feeling isolated and detached even when others are there. It is related with feelings of disconnection that may be founded in depression and lack of high self-esteem.
Loneliness may be a symptom of a psychological disorder and a sign of depression. Loneliness is related to lack of self – confidence, self-worth and good self-esteem. Feeling chronically lonely may be a sign of deep depression and other mental health issues that can develop in risks such as suicide, brain dysfunction and substance abuse disorders.
Aloneness, on the other hand, is not dysfunctional. It is space one looks forward to recharge, to enjoy one’s own thoughts and company. It is a place of peaceful retreat.
Let‘s learn to distinguish between the two and not confuse a perfectly healthy state of aloneness with a the signs of a possible mental disorder.
Assess these behaviors as they may look the same, but are motivated by significant differences.
Aloneness is to be encouraged, as it is a space where we can explore our feelings and thoughts. It is a space of self-awareness motivated by a desire to find a place of mindfulness.
Loneliness is motivated by negative feelings associated by negative thoughts. Lack of self-worth and self-confidence are the some of the causes. Loneliness is a health risk and progressively worsens in the person’s quality of life with serious lack of social interaction and impairment of functioning.
Loneliness requires intervention, help and concern for those that are experiencing it. Aloneness, on the other hand is a coping skill that is experienced by those that search for and enjoy self-awareness. Aloneness is a mindful awareness; an awareness to explore and enjoy.
Written by Madeleine Pujals Maya
3/3/2014


The Chronicles Of Renard: 6 Tips That Can Enhance Your Blog.


BENEFICIOS DEL MATRIMONIO    Escrito por Madeleine Pujals Maya MA, Psy. D.

“El Matrimonio funcional tiene muchos beneficios para aquellos que lo han contratado. Entre las cosas que pueden las pareja casadas disfrutar esta el Afecto, Carino, Amor, y Ternura. La Compania y la Proteccion de su companero/a. La Alimentacion suele ser mas Nutritiva y Disfutada. El matrimonio disfruta de Relaciones Intimas como el Sexo y Communicacion Afectiva. La Auto Estima es favorable entre companeros de vida. El matirmonio se provee de Ayuda Mutua y Apoyo. La Salud es mejor y mas duradera entre companeros de vida. Conyuges suelen poder Ahorrar mejor que aquellos que se encuentran solteros. En el matrimonio se dan sentimientos de Pertenencia tan necesario para una buena salud mental.
La Realizacion se puede lograr con el apoyo del companero con mas facilidad, por el fortalicimiento de tener a alguien al lado de uno quien lo ama, apoya y proteje, permitido por los sentimientos de Alta Estima que promueve una relacion comprometida, leal, responsable y funcional.”

How do you stay motivated?


How do you stay motivated?.


The secret to writing a bestseller….


Change…  at some point we all want to move from who we are or do to something better, improved or different. Change is never easy, nor simple. It takes awareness, recognition and knowledge of the behavior we want to modify. Otherwise, we are not in a position to even consider the change we want to manifest. Change is a process. It’s not about going in a straight line from point A to point B. Change can move forward, sideways and backwards or in circles in a process without any definite destination. Change happens in a journey with many stops, and obstacles, which may require our effort and dedication to find new ways on how to get to our destination. That takes time, energy, will power, persistence and perseverance. It is neither simple, nor easy, but definitely possible. It requires commitment and accountability.

In the process of change, expect your journey to be difficult, expect moments of frustration, feelings of defeat and failure. But never give up. It is part of the process. Change does not happen overnight, it is not easy to change years of automatic behavior. With change you must make thoughtful efforts to move in the direction that you want to arrive. Don’t expect for it to happen quickly, nor joyfully. It can be painful and frustrating. Trying may require many restarts, many falls, and many required times of getting back up and continuing forward. It will require focus and will power, repetitious efforts until the change is consolidated. While on the journey, in those vulnerable moments when failure and defeating emotions set in, you may go back to the old behavior, or back to what is familiar. Do not forfeit your right to succeed. Take a deep breath and remember your destination, motivate yourself to get back up and continue your process. Reward your efforts, recognize your achievement and acknowledge your advancements. Remember that change will take practice and many repetitions, just as learning to ride a bike. Falling, scratching and bruising are all part of the learning process. However, once you find your balance, once you can find that homeostasis in the process to your goal and destination it will happen automatically without much more effort or thought.

Change Requires:

Awareness

Recognition

Preparation

Desire

Willpower

Patience

Perseverance

Persistence

Motivation

Compensation

Effort

Accountability

Rhythm

Action

Time

Image


Keep in Mind the following when considering PsychotherapyImage

Psychotherapists are different in their approaches and strategies in helping clients. However, most will provide one session per week from 45-60 minutes a session. However, sessions may be given more often depending on the situation and needs of the case. Therapy sessions may be held in settings such as a private office, clinic, hospital, agencies, nursing homes and private homes.

The first sessions are mostly geared to gather information, assess and evaluate the mental and physical health of the client to develop a treatment plan.    It is during these sessions that some of this information may be taken by another person and or by the therapist.

In the course of these sessions the client should also evaluate how he feels with the therapist and consider if he would like to continue with the therapist or look further with others until client is comfortable and can establish a necessary therapeutic bond.

Therapeutic treatment is different for everyone. The length of therapy depends on many factors. The issues to be addressed will be a factor as well as the approach of the therapy. Another important factor is the client’s resources and the desire and effort that he makes to move toward his improved well-being and change.

If time is a consideration for the client, then it should be discussed, and a starting goal to work towards and to accomplish should be established. The time frame can change as therapy moves forward and new goals are vested.

Progress should be evaluated and ongoing. Change and progress is not a smooth and straight forward journey. It may have many twists and turns and may even take some backward steps. Changing can be complicated and at times may not always go in a straightforward road.  Goals and progress will be continuously evaluated with the client as necessary.  How fast the changes happen are not as important as how persistent and constant the client maintains his motivation to change and progress. Progress should be evaluated in terms of an overall learning along the way of the journey and not on how rapid the goals are achieve. Everyone moves forward at a different pace.

Something to keep in mind is that therapy will not always be pleasant and comfortable. As treatment moves forward painful memories, frustrations, multiple feelings may surface. This is a normal process of therapy and will be guided by the therapist. If these feelings are overwhelming and make the client so miserable that he does not wish to continue therapy, the client may want to slow down and communicate these feelings to the therapist. Trust and a close communication should help provide the therapeutic relationship. These feelings should be addressed by the client and she/he should not abort the therapeutic process without understanding what is happening and how she/he should handle these stages of the treatment process.

Therapy works, but growth and change do not happen overnight. Change and growth are difficult. One cue that change is taking place is feeling more relaxed and feeling an improved mood, others noticing the changes and one noticing improved relationships with family and at work. Reactions and interactions will be noticeably different by the client and others. It is important to be aware that in the treatment process there will be setbacks and not to be discouraged as this is a normal part of the change and growth process.

In Psychotherapy it is important to note that the therapist role is not to tell you what to do. The therapist and the client are partners in the client’s recovery and treatment. The therapist guides and directs and makes suggestions for treatment, but the client is the one that must make the changes needed to move toward development and growth. In order for this to occur a commitment to treatment must be made.  The client should not skip sessions unless absolutely necessary, while in treatment.  Not wanting to attend sessions should pose the client an exploration of why he feels this way. This may be a sign of resistance to continued exploration and / or a sign that a session has touched a soft spot. This reluctance should be discussed with the therapist.

In order for the client to get the most benefit from psychotherapy, it is essential that the client share his feelings with the therapist openly and honestly. Feelings that impair sharing should be discussed with the therapist so that the therapist can work with the client to address the issues together.

Termination of treatment is a decision that depends on the client’s situation. However, ideally both therapist and client will together evaluate if goals have been met. Client and Therapist may not always agree on the discharge time. It is important to remember that the therapeutic relationship is a strong bond and the termination of treatment may be felt as a loss even in the view of a successful treatment. These feelings are normal and should be addressed.

Written and photo taken by Madeleine Pujals Maya

Espacio de Jaime

Just another WordPress.com site

jaimepujals

Just another WordPress.com site

jaimepujals60

This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

jaimepujals77

This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas

MY ECOSYSTEM

Just another WordPress.com site

The Gastronomy Gal

simplicity in food and travel

Travel Crog

Travel Advisor For Your Dream Vacations

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

As I navigate through this life ...

Life...Take 2!

I hope that someone sees this page and decides not to give up...