Archive for September 15, 2014


Purple valley in Idaho



Couple U

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“Unless you love someone nothing else makes sense.” Anonymous

So, if you want to have a great relationship, what’s most important? What comes to mind? A large number of my patients might say, “good communication”. But, what do you think is foundational to having a healthy relationship with your partner?

My vote goes to freely loving and enjoying people. Think about it. You and I probably wanted our parents delighted interest in us from the day we were born. We still want  people’s eyes to light up when we come into the room. Just think about how small children and puppies respond to attention. We want to know that someone simply wants our presence; that they like being with us.

We want to be loved deeply; deep affection that leads to a person unselfishly acting in our best interests. Can you actually say that you don’t want this? I wouldn’t believe you if…

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Couple U

Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill. Buddha

  • “We need to talk.”
  • “Why, we’ll fight?”
  • “Just listen!”

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Do any of the above sound familiar? Maybe you could add to the list? A lot of people come to my office saying they have a communication problem. They want to know their partner. They want to feel connected and loved.

Good communication means that you have a free flowing stream of shared experiences, feelings and information. In healthy relationships the best and the worse can be shared, accepted, and understood leaving behind a sense of being known, accepted and loved.

Healthy communication and emotional intimacy thrive in an atmosphere of trust and compassion. Remember,

Your partner moves

toward > pleasure and

away from < pain.

The person you love will

only want to talk

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