Lack of nurturing and attention when young

Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family

Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at any cost Highly manipulative and controlling of others

Unrealistic expectations of others in relationships

Mistake intensity for intimacy (drama driven relationships)

Hidden Pain /Denial

Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship

Inner rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment

Sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner

Need for positive regard Tolerance for high-risk behavior

Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems

Using others, sex & relationships to alter mood or relieve emotional pain

Confusion of sexual attraction with love at first sight

For some, a tendency to trade sexual activity for “love” or attachment

Outer facade of “having it all together” to hide internal disintegration

Existence of a secret “double life” Refusal to acknowledge existence of problem

Tendency to leave one relationship for another. (Inability to be without a relationship.)

Signs and Characteristics of Love Avoidance:

Avoid intimacy in the relationship by creating intensity in other activities outside the relationship
Avoid being known in the relationship
Distance themselves from intimate contact to keep from feeling engulfed
Over controlling parenting when young…often one parent
Secretive behavior
Need to be seen and adored and then escape
Refusal to acknowledge existence of problem

Characteristics of Codependent Relationships

People in codependent relationships lose interest in their own life when they are in love.
People feel responsible for other people–their thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, and well being instead of focusing on themselves when they are in codependent relationships.
Individuals in codependent relationships do not receive well…they feel guilty.
Codependents leave bad relationships and immediately find themselves in another one that doesn’t work.
Codependent relationships consist of two people completely focused on each other and not on self. Often staying in the relationship even if it is not working and tolerating abuse.
Codependents are unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about the person they are in relationship with.
Codependents are terribly anxious about problems and people and worry about the silliest things.

by Five Sisters Ranch Inc. Copyright © 2013